No, I Don't Do Commissions (but can I please draw your cat?)

I finally finished 2 cat portraits I've been working on for years.  Fortunately, I was told that there wasn't a hurry since the cats were already deceased and the portraits would be memorializing them. "Good," I said at the time, "because I just started at a new school and I probably won't be able to get to it until summer."  I got stuck at one point on the first one, Cleo, because I thought she looked angry and didn't know how to fix it.  I thought I would finally have time during the pandemic to get them done, but found myself still stuck.  I actually turned it into a lesson during remote teaching, showing students the animal portraits I had done and asking for their advice on how to make the cat's expression less mean/murderous.  Their answers ranged from "give her a smiley face" to "make the eyes more rounded."  And I did make the eyes more rounded and she did look less angry.  But then one 5th grade girl gave a response I was not expecting. "I don't think she looks angry, I think she looks strong and brave.  I think she looks like a warrior queen who is going into battle." Bad. Ass. Restoring all faith in future generations. And of course she was right (the force is strong in this one).  So I changed it back.  Another breakthrough came when I tried to look at it anew and think "what would I do if I was doing this just for myself and wasn't trying to please someone else (as is the case with commissions)?" Paint the background jet black.  And as soon as I did that, easy peasy, the rest fell into place.  I announced that it was completed to the pet owner and she said, "but you're still going to do the other one also aren't you?" Fortunately, that one was done in fits and starts over 1 year and not 7. And then I had to add fabric to the outside frame to finish it off. In the end, I did really have fun making these and I love how they turned out.  But my new answer to the question of "do you do pet portrait commissions?" is this: If you want to give me some pictures of the pet and their name and some info about their personality, I'll play around with it.  And if I end up completing an art piece, I'll give you the first chance to buy it.  And if you don't want it, I can sell it to someone else.  That way, I'm making the art for myself (which brings me so much joy) and if someone else enjoys it too, fantastic. But no pressure.

 

Time is a Thief

 And then I blinked and it was 9 years later.  So many times I wanted to post an update, but felt I had to catch up and do it chronologically. And I have mostly only had job-art to post about (i.e. student projects).  Oh perfectionism. Suffice it to say that I was busy being a multi-arts teacher (dance/theater/art) then a visual art teacher, single-parenting a complex human through adolescence, moving, moving again, and again, making video tutorials for students, doing leadership work, teaching other teachers to make video tutorials for students and teach online during a pandemic (and they taught me), surviving a pandemic (oh hello chaos, I know you, we got this), learning to teach 450 kids via computer, teaching 450 kids with masks on our faces, loading thousands of kid clay projects in and out of a kiln for firing, compiling hundreds of kid stop motion projects, managing 8 art classes a day while still trying to connect with each beautiful student artist, photographing their art and hanging it in our hallways, spending time in France, meeting my Ojibwe relatives on our native land, learning to line dance and two step and waltz, rollerskating, kayaking, skiing.  And trying to figure out how to do all these things I love to do and not be so flipping busy. 

During the pandemic I discovered that I'm not as introverted as I once thought, and during lock-down, I actually took a job at an Amazon grocery delivery warehouse, stocking the shelves and doing shopping for people.  I'm kind of a border collie and I'll go crazy if I can't be helpful, but also I was craving humanity so much I was willing to do anything that allowed me to responsibly (essential worker) be around humans.  I honestly would have done it without pay.

And now, I'm discovering that I really am an introvert who can't live without solid chunks of unstimulating alone time, but also small bits of joyful socializing.

Talking with an art teacher friend about giving too much to our jobs, and deciding maybe it's enough to just be good and not always great.  Then listening to a podcast suggesting moms block off time in their calendars with these words: "My needs matter.  Do not cancel." And it occurred to me how much teaching is parenting/caregiving and that this also applies very much to us (also, I see you nurses). And so, I got a sub for a day and took off for 2 nights in Portland, Oregon, to rest and make art. 

There.  All caught up.